Upgrade Your Circle, Upgrade Your Life ⭕
Issue #118: The 3 Groups That Influence Your Habits, Health, and Peace. Simple Sleep Hack. Most powerful way to say "I love you".
Welcome to Learn + Grow, where you will learn tips and tools that will help you be 3% more peaceful + productive in just 3 minutes a week.
💡 Here are 3-ideas to help you learn, grow, and be inspired this week!
🎓 Learn
Let me tell you a quick story.
Meet Mary.
She’s 35, works a demanding job, and juggles two kids at home. One day, she noticed something weird. Her morning walk habit—something she’d done consistently for 6 months—disappeared. What changed?
Her best friend (who was her walking buddy) moved away.
This small shift ruined her motivation. She didn’t just lose her friend—she lost her consistency, energy, and calm.
Why? Because our habits are contagious.
(Yes, you catch habits the way you catch a yawn or a cold.)
Today, I want to share a concept that can change your life. (Big claim, I know. But trust me—it’s worth it.)
I learned this from James Clear’s Atomic Habits.
You want success? Peace? To quit bad habits? To build better ones?
It all comes down to who you spend your time with.
The Hidden Influence
James talks about three groups that quietly shape your success, health, and happiness.
Here they are:
1. The Close: Family, Friends, and Colleagues
You don’t need a study to know this one is true. But let me give you one anyway:
In a famous study from Harvard, researchers tracked thousands of people over 32 years and discovered something fascinating: If a friend becomes obese, you’re 57% more likely to become obese too.
(57%! That’s wild, right?)
It works the same for positive habits. If you surround yourself with people who read, exercise or meditate—you’re far more likely to follow suit.
Why this group influences us: Humans crave connection. When we see the people closest to us doing something, we naturally feel the pull to fit in.
Mary's morning walks didn’t stop because she lost motivation. They stopped because she lost her close influence.
Key takeaway: Want to get healthier or happier? Surround yourself with people who live those values. (Not the ones who drag you down.)
2. The Many: Tribe, Community, Society
Let me tell you a story from the book.
In the 1960s, a psychologist named Solomon Asch conducted a simple but powerful experiment. He placed participants in a group and showed them a set of lines, asking which line was the longest. The answer was obvious.
But here’s the twist: The majority of the group had been instructed to give the wrong answer.
What happened? Most participants ignored their eyes and followed the crowd.
(Yeah, humans are weird like that.)
Why this group influences us: We’re social creatures. We don’t want to be left out or feel different. If everyone around us eats fast food, complains about their jobs, or skips workouts—it becomes normal.
But: If you join a community of goal-setters, runners, or meditators, you’ll start adopting those behaviors too.
Key takeaway: Find a tribe that pulls you up, not down. If your current community doesn’t align with your goals, it’s time to switch teams.
3. The Powerful: Those with Status and Prestige
Ever wonder why people imitate celebrities? It’s not just about admiration—it’s about influence.
A study on social behavior found that people are more likely to copy those they perceive as successful or powerful.
Here’s an example James Clear gives: When a high-ranking waiter recommends a dish, diners are far more likely to order it than when a junior server does.
Why this group influences us: We subconsciously believe that mimicking successful people will make us successful too. This is why we listen to CEOs, athletes, and influencers.
But there’s a catch: Not all powerful figures set good examples. (Ever seen a successful person with terrible work-life balance?)
Key takeaway: Be careful who you put on a pedestal. Pick role models who embody both success and the peace you’re aiming for.
My Habits Changed Through Podcasts, Books, and Newsletters
I’ll be honest—my thinking, behaviors, and habits didn’t magically improve on their own.
I’m the product of the content I consume.
Podcasts from people like Tim Ferriss, Peter Attia, Sadhguru shifted how I approach productivity, health and peace.
Books like Atomic Habits reshaped my mindset around habits.
Newsletters I follow taught me how to think clearly and take action.
Even though I couldn’t always surround myself with successful entrepreneurs or productivity experts in person, I created that influence through what I fed my mind.
And it worked. (It still works.)
If you’re stuck in a place where your immediate surroundings feel limiting, remember this:
You can always change your influences by what you read, listen to, and watch.
“What About Exceptions?”
Now, I know what you are thinking:
“If this is true, then how do kids from bad neighborhoods still succeed?”
“Why do some people break free and create their own path?”
Here’s the thing: Yes, exceptions exist. But they’re called exceptions for a reason.
In most cases, people succeed because they either found a positive influence elsewhere or removed themselves from toxic surroundings.
Think about it. The kid who rises above poverty? Often, they had a mentor or role model who changed their path. Or they consumed content (books, podcasts, etc.) that reshaped their beliefs.
That’s where personal agency comes in. If you can’t control your physical surroundings, you can control your mental inputs.
Upgrade Your Circle
So, here’s your homework:
Take 15 minutes today.
Write down the three groups: The Close, The Many, The Powerful.
Now, ask yourself:
Who’s currently influencing my life?
Who inspires me to be better?
Who am I imitating without realizing it?
And if needed—upgrade your circle.
(Because sometimes, success isn’t about working harder. It’s about being around people who make you better without even trying.)
That’s the real secret to peaceful growth.
Simple. Powerful. Game-changing.
Go apply it.
🚀 Growth Tip
Put Your Phone to Bed Before You Sleep
I was addicted to my phone.
Even after deleting social media, I still couldn’t put it down before bed. One more scroll. One more article. One last email check. And suddenly, 40 minutes were gone.
Then, I tried the simplest advice ever: Leave the phone outside the bedroom.
At first, it felt impossible.
(Like, why is this so hard? It’s just a piece of metal and glass!)
But after a month? I’m sleeping better (even with a 3-month-old!). Mornings feel calmer. I feel free.
Try it for a week.
No phone in the bedroom.
You’ll thank me later.
🤩 Inspiration
"On funerals, loss, grief, friendship, and support:
It's not about knowing what to say. It's about being there when nobody knows what to say. The only thing people need to hear is, "You are not alone." And that doesn't require words. It just requires your presence."
This quote by James Clear hits differently around Valentine’s Day.
Love isn’t just about grand gestures or the perfect words—it’s about showing up, especially in the hardest moments.
Sometimes, the most powerful way to say “I love you” is simply by being there. ❤️
[On a different note, here’s something I’m excited to share to help you boost your productivity and performance through better writing in 2025]
How Samir, an Engineer, Transformed His Career with One Skill
Samir wasn’t a writer. He was a software engineer, great at building things but struggled when it came to explaining ideas, pitching projects, or sharing updates.
After being passed over for a promotion, he realized something: It wasn’t his technical skills holding him back—it was his writing.
He signed up for a copywriting course, thinking it would help him write better emails. (It did that and more.)
In a few months, Samir’s emails were clear and persuasive. His project proposals got approved faster. He became the go-to person for internal presentations. And, yes—he finally got that promotion.
Why? Because writing is a meta-skill.
Whether you’re an engineer, designer, accountant, or manager, writing impacts everything. Emails, reports, pitches, presentations—good writing makes you more productive, more effective, and more valuable.
Here’s the good news: WRITING IS A SKILL. You don’t “have it”, you learn it.
If you can improve only one skill in 2025, make it writing.
I’ve spent over $5,000 on different writing courses, and out of all of them, I highly recommend CopyThat—an email-based copywriting course you can complete in just 30 minutes a day for 10 days.
✍🏻 Check it out here: CopyThat
👋 Until next time, Anil / CEO and Co-Founder of Multidots, Multicollab, and Dotstore.
May the Peaceful Growth be with you! 🪴
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